Mundanely Blessed Hot

 
Editor rating
 
4.4 User rating
 
4.4 (1)

Mundanely Blessed

(A Poem written after the earthquake) 

My daily grind
Fruitless yet again
I trudged along with
Thoughts of pure disdain
How did I come to find
This life mundane
An answer is needed
To the 'why?'


The Earth shook …
You dare not see?


The media showed
Such horrid tales
Stories of tragic losses
Far extending
Time taken from
Global concerns
Politics, economy and wars
Seemingly indistinct...
Awaken us more


The Earth trembled again
It was not through


I now embrace
Each trivial breath
Feeling rise and fall
Within my chest
There is no pondering
Of next meal or home
Mundanely blessed am I


The Earth is quiet now
But there's no rest

<< Back to Library    << Previous Section  << Previous   Next >>  Next Section  >>
Written by :

Diny123
 

Editor reviews

 
Was this review helpful to you?
Yes No
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful

Strong theme, well conveyed.

I like the random rhyming in this free verse style.

**An answer' is needed
To the 'why?'

These lines seem superfluous and weaken the tone and flow--also, not sure why you used an apostrophe after answer?

**
The Earth shook …
You dare not see?

This is ambiguous---maybe it would be better coming AFTER you mention the media?

*
Politics(,) economy and wars
Seemingly indistinct...
Awaken us more

(GOOD MESSAGE IN ABOVE LINES)

--
I now embrace
Each trivial breath (EXCELLENT LINE, though no breath is trivial--it is VITAL!)

**
Mundanely blessed am I (the inverted grammar irks me slightly, but your original phrasing of mundanely blessed makes up for it)

BRILLIANT CLOSING---
The Earth is quiet now
But there's no rest

 
4.4
 
5.0
 
4.0
 
4.0
 
5.0
 
4.0
Overall rating: 
Imagery:
Structure, Flow, Readabilty:
Word Choice:
Message/Theme:
Stand/As Is:
 
 


User reviews

Average user rating from: 1 user(s)

To write a review please register or login.
 
4.4
 
4.0   (1)
 
4.0   (1)
 
4.0   (1)
 
5.0   (1)
 
5.0   (1)
Overall rating: 
Imagery:
Structure, Flow, Readabilty:
Word Choice:
Message/Theme:
Stand/As Is:
 
 

To see and Appreciate

Was this review helpful to you?
Yes No
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful

You must understand I struggle a bit in giving reviews to someone as good as you. It's just a fact. You are!... so having said that...
The poem has power written deep within a reflecting pool of self and what I like the most is the "How did I come to find This life mundane" because there is where the correction of self begins.... by wondering and tasting the water, not in mindless gulps, but gentle sips. To explore ourselves or to be jolted or stunned into waking up, allows us to slow a bit... which is always a blessing in disguise... Yardle

 
4.4
 
4.0
 
4.0
 
4.0
 
5.0
 
5.0
Overall rating: 
Imagery:
Structure, Flow, Readabilty:
Word Choice:
Message/Theme:
Stand/As Is:
 
 

Featured and Latest Post

Work-From-Home Projects

Powered by